New Year's Resolution

Its talked about all throughout history. It makes decisions for our leaders but yet it is just as common within each of us just as much as it is within the hierarchy. Although it is present in all of us like a virus, it is defined differently by each character. Tis the season for fear. Tis the year, tis the life for fear.

In closing out the new year, many things enter our mind about our past. Do you remember that trip to a Wal-Mart only a few minutes away and making it into an all day trip? Or the time we laughed till we got that deep piercing feeling in our ribs at something we couldn't understand? Oh,or what about that time we took a detour because come on, no one likes to study on Sunday night? Come on, admit it, 2012 has been a pretty epic year full of love, laughter and change none of us expected.

As we reminisce on this year's past, we cant help but think of those things that have made an impact on our character for the rest of our lives. That friend that has been lost because of a stupid argument but you dare not say sorry? Or that time you slammed the door in the face of your best friend because you couldn't figure out why you were angry? Oh or what about that time you fell too hard for someone who broke your heart at the opportune moment when you felt all alone? Thats it, thats the look, your face goes from a laughing smile to the confused look of a cringing heart. As this year comes to its end and never again will we be able to see a pattern like 12/12/12 until 2/22/22, I can't help but think about the mistakes I will make within the next year.

Fear only comes from things we've heard or have done. From the past, now looking toward the future that those thing may happen again. Or that vague fear that something will happen to you as it happened to those who came to you for advice. Could you take your own advice in this situation? Or do you become the hypocrite you have always seen in yourself?

Happiness only comes through “family and friends”. Happiness only comes through “possessions”. Happiness simply “grows on trees” as the splendor of the outdoors. Authors worldwide write books about happiness, how to obtain it and how to keep it coming through rainbows and hopes of unicorns. But not many explain the fear that comes when happiness is present. Or the only way to even truly begin thinking about happiness is to first conquer the thing that has instilled fear as first priority in your life. Maybe its fear of abandonment? Or fear of disappointment? Or a delicate fear of trust? Sounds pretty simple, right? But this is step two, these are mere definitions of the things we fear in our life.

“To define is to limit”. Maybe Oscar Wilde has it right. What if we were to take a step back and define where we went wrong? To notice the fear of loss. The desire to feel desired. Or the fear of losing control. If we can define what we fear, thats how we can limit it, how we can catch it. First gather the evidence, gather the things that have created this fear, sit down and listen to your favorite song by Jack Johnson, grab some hot chocolate with a shot of espresso and notice the little things. You'd be surprised what you come up with. You'd be surprised what you've been fearing this whole time. How simple these fears are. How we've simply been looking at the shadow of something so small.

We all fail for a reason. Its okay, admit it, you've failed plenty of times in your life. If you can't say that, frankly, you've made mistakes, you have failed; well then thats the true failure isn't it? Where is your character then? How can you talk to someone and say that you understand? We all go through our trials, the tests of life, many of us fail the first time; but it is then that you realize whats missing. You realize the things you've forgotten. There is a reason for our past, so we can look back at it and see how it has defined our lives now. You realize that if you didn't lose a friend through something they failed to notice, you would never appreciate the ones you have now. Or that if you didn't get into a fight with your best friend, you would have never realized those bottled up emotions or never found yourself both pouring out those bottles, or that that best friend will always be there regardless of your stupidity. Oh, or if that person never broke your heart, you would never realize those hidden people in your life, or how much you truly loved them, or that that person would grow up being the best friend you've ever had; or maybe you would have never realized that they tore up your life only so someone can come in and pick it all up. You would have never realized what is worthwhile if you never took in the good with the bad. Never defined.

So maybe that's your new year's resolution. To define the trials in your life to learn as much as you can from them. To file through your life and find the happiness that comes with the simple things. To define and ultimately limit your fears. That sure is mine. Now what's your fear?